all the recipe posts....

yes, there have been quite a few..... I know.... I know.

but I have come to realize that this past week I have been keeping something from you....

and when I am sad about something....

I cook.

I bake.

I ignore what I need to share.

but it is time.

it is time to see things for what they are,

and move forward.

I will share.

I will cry.

but tomorrow will be another day,

and I will be closer to healing,

than I am right now.

As I shared a few weeks back,

we had to say goodbye to one of our dogs.

Sergei was a wonderful dog, but also, 17 years old~ and we needed to let her go.

It took all summer- but we prepared to say goodbye.

and did so in a fashion that honored her, and gave us peace.

well, we have/had another dog... Stumpel. Stump was 12 years old, and never knew what life was like without a Sergei. Never once did I realize in saying goodbye to Sergei, that in preparing the family... we should have tried to prepare Stump.

catching snow with O

admiring B's talents

When Sergei left, Stump didn't know what happened. He didn't know where she was. He was beside himself with heartache and worry. When we left- he would whimper. He stopped eating. He never left our sides. He grew weak.....

he just did not want to live without her.

the boys (all three) reading together

We loved him the best we could. We tried to get him to eat. We tried to play with him at the park. He just could not get out of his depression.... out of his loss of love for Sergei.

Last Friday night, as we were getting ready for bed..... Stumpel cried out, and then died.

an afternoon nap

I did not prepare for this... I did not feel ready for this..... I hated that this had happened.

we have spent this past week figuring out this new.... "normal".

I have even been trying to find the silver lining in this....

there is no hair to vacuum or sweep up... but there are now food crumbs.

there is no struggles to get him out to "potty" before we leave.... but I seem to always forget something now.

the nighttime routine is different.

the children are different.

it all is so different now.

So, as this new season of being "pet-less" is upon us.... i find myself smiling at every dog that walks by~ wanting, in desperation, to reach my hand out for a sweet lick, or to rub behind their ears.....

I do not know how long this season will last..... but, it is a season that I do not hope to get use to.

So, Stump.... your heart may have stopped~ but your companionship will forever be in our hearts.

all dressed up

you were a crazy wild dog, full of fun, spunk, great passion and enduring love. We miss you but know you needed to go. Be at peace sweet dog, be at peace.